Sunday 11 June 2017

Premarital Counseling – The Benefits of Pre Marriage Counseling You Are Not Aware!



Pre marriage counseling is also called premarital counseling; it is a type of couple’s therapy that helps couples prepared for marriage relationships. It is also called couples therapy- it is a type of psychotherapy. Marriage counseling helps couples of all types to recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships. Through it you can make thoughtful decisions about building your relationship or going your separate ways. It can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship and a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage
A survey published in the Journal of Family Psychology revealed that, couples with premarital education reported higher levels of marital satisfaction and experienced a 30 percent decline in the likelihood of divorce over five years and if what is published in the Journal of Family Psychology is to be taking serious, then singles need this counseling.

How Can Premarital Counseling Help?

Premarital Counseling  or marriage  counseling  is  generally  provided  by  licensed  therapists  known  as  marriage  and family  therapists. These therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists, but with a specific focus – a couple’s relationship.  Marriage  counseling and Premarital Counseling affords  you  and  your  spouse  numerous  ways  to  bring  about  change that you would not normally know how to accomplish on your own.  It provides a safe and supportive  environment  for  you  to  identify  and  communicate  the  issues,  feelings  and behaviors  that  are  bothering  you,  to  facilitate  understanding  and  to bring about the needed positive  change in your relationships.
.

Why Do Singles need premarital counseling or marriage counseling?

Singles especially need premarital counseling as it will helps partners to improve their ability to communicate, set realistic expectations for marriage and develop conflict-resolution skills. ... Early intervention is important because the risk of divorce is highest early in marriage.
 It helps partners to improve on how to listen and communicate more effectively; more specifically, they’ll also tell you what to say (and not to say) in order to reach a happy healthy relationships solution.
Pre marriage counseling helps dismantling fears about marriage. For example, one or both of you might come from a divorced family or from a dysfunctional background where fighting and manipulation was the model of relationship lifestyle. Premarital counseling can teach you how to make peace with your past and break the cycle completely.
It helps avoiding toxic resentments. Clear the air about resentments you’ve been hanging onto throughout your relationship. Going for counseling will help you resolve these issues and you will free yourselves from them so that they don’t cause massive damage later on in your marriage relationship

Other purpose of premarital counseling is that, premarital counseling will gives you the opportunity to benefit from wisdom of experts- One of the purpose of arranged marriages was that someone older and wiser than the couple in love could think about who would really make good partners 5, 10, 20 or even 40 years later. Although you don't need to have your love life arranged for you, but you should take advantage of relationship advice from those who are knowledgeable about what you'll really face in the journey of marital relationship.
Another purpose of premarital counseling is that it beats the alternative. "Premarital counseling according to Dr. Jed Diamond one of experienced premarital counselor; says it is better than post-marital misunderstandings and divorce."

It helps couples in new relationship better understand their own motivations for getting married, which might include building their own family, increasing their commitment to each other and creating a future together and as well as helps them recognize what they want from a partnership and identify their own needs. For example, a couple might realize that their needs are “to feel loved, valued, validated, heard, to have someone who is always there for them, to work together in life.” this and many others will be known by them in such a relationship advice from the councilor.

 Last and not the list is It Increase marital satisfaction.- Premarital counseling helps couples to identify and communicate about their fears, desires, beliefs, values, dreams, needs and other marital problems and baggage that most avoid or deny. Pre-marital counseling empowers couples to discuss marriage stress before they cause harm to the relationship. And doing this will gives a marriage stability, cohesiveness and trust when the difficult times of 24/7 married life sets in the future to come.

Conclusively Premarital counseling offers so many benefits. Every engaged couple I think wants to have a long, healthy, happy marriage and starting it out by having important conversations about the life you are going to build together, learning how to improve your communication skills, and working together to create your ideal marriage is a great vision, so take advantage of Premarital counseling for the betterment of your marital relationships.

Relationship Advice-Get to Know How to Have Healthy Relationships in Your Marital Journey!



Except we are pretending, marriage relationships can seem like a lot of work until you sit back to realize just how much you've been given. A prosperous, healthy relationship requires some give and take, and is absolutely within your reach if you and your spouse are willing to do a bit of work. If you and your spouse are for each other, all the work will definitely be worth it in the long run. So from this article you will get to know how to have a happy healthy relationship you so much desire.

Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation, as you must offer it to your partner as much as you demand it from your spouse. Talk about the relationship problems and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit yourself to it. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent you from more disappointment, anger or resentment.
Remember who forgiveness really benefits. Forgiving your spouse absolves them from past mistakes, but it also frees you from carrying around anger and resentment. Don't view it as an entirely altruistic act—it's something you're doing for both of your betterment.

Spouse should develop better communication with one another. There is no one born of woman who was born as a great communicators — it's an art everyone has to learn and work at. In relationship, the Way and manner couples talk to each other might seem small, but you do it several times a day and it does have an effect in your marital relationship. Consider these fixes:
  Stop using directive language. Try to keep phrases like "you should" or "you can't" out of your relationship. You and your partner are equals, and neither one of you should have the authority to rule each other.
   
 Relay your expectations. If you expect your partner to do something, say it out. Don't expect that your spouse should read your mind, and don't rely on hints either. Being clear about what you want will gives your partner a fair shot at succeeding. (And keep the above point in mind: instead of "You should take the garbage out every day," say "I'd really like it if you took the garbage out every day.")
    Always say "please" and "thank you." You should be able to let loose around your spouse, so there's no need to worry about having impeccable manners all the time. The exception to this is asking nicely and expressing gratitude whenever your spouse does something — don't just assume he or she knows how you meant.
    Fight fair. Don't just let all these good communication skills go out the window during an argument. Try to get your point across in a loving, respectful manner that doesn't seek to hurt your spouse. If they insist on yelling or throwing insults, suggest that you continue the conversation once both of you are more level-headed.

Don’t you ever hide anything from your spouse, most especially your feelings about your partner and your relationship—whether good or bad! Acting in this manner will help you to be able to overcome all relationship problems. If something bad happened in your past that still affects you in the present, they need to know about it. You should be able to discuss your sexual history. It is an obligation before you decide to be sexually involved with your partner. But you should make them feel safe and free from judgment, and you should expect the same from your partner.
  You should be able to discuss even your sexual history. It is an obligation before you decide to be sexually involved with your spouse. But you should make them feel safe and free from judgment, and you should expect the same from your spouse too.  Express your feelings towards them. Always remind your partner of how much they mean to you, and what they represent to you. Women should not be the only ones who need expressions of love and care, men need to do that too.

Don’t you ever hide anything from your spouse, most especially your feelings about your partner and your relationship—whether good or bad! Acting in this manner will help you to be able to overcome all relationship problems. If something bad happened in your past that still affects you in the present, they need to know about it. You should be able to discuss your sexual history. It is an obligation before you decide to be sexually involved with your partner. But you should make them feel safe and free from judgment, and you should expect the same from your partner.

Learn to support each other. To be supportive means you are making your spouse's happiness and well-being a priority, in ways big and small. Keep in mind that part of why you're in relationships in the first place is that you're each other's biggest part and  fans, so make sure you act like it. Try demonstrating your support in these ways:

 Learn to be a good listener to your spouse. If your partner needs you to lend an ear, do it willingly. You don't always need to come up with a solution, just support Offer encouragement. If your partner is trying to make a positive change, start a new hobby, or undertake a difficult challenge, be their biggest cheerleader.  Provide a safe place. Allow your spouse to be vulnerable in front of you without fear of judgment.

 Spouse should take up a hobby together. It is revealed that learning something new together can help you grow closer, as well as discovering a leisure activity that both of can enjoy. You can take up sports like tennis or basketball, learning a new language, cooking, crafting, or whatever else you've wanted to try.
   
 Find small ways to serve each other. Doing small acts of service for your spouse shows that you're aware of what he or she needs, and you're ready to help. It doesn't have to be an extravagant gesture: make dinner, take care of a small errand, or offer a foot rubs at the end of the day. Don't make it a big deal, and don't usually expect payback.
     
 Spouse should learn to show their affection to one another in whatever way they can. There's a difference between knowing that you're loved and feeling that you're loved. Sometimes, we often think that our partners should know that we love them even when we don't show it. Please don't rely on this too much. The best relationships use affection to show love.
Do something for your partner that you know they will truly appreciate. Whether it means waking up early to mow the lawn, taking the kids to karate, etc., it's often the little favors that say the most.  Don't be afraid to show physical affection every once in a while. Loving relationships feed off of the little kisses, hugs, and back-rubs that are mainstays of affection.

Laugh and Smile together. Laugh and smile at one another with the security of love. Laughing and smiling helps the world go 'round and it helps your body burn calories, increase blood flow, strengthen the immune system, and lowers blood sugar levels Laughter as it is can be comforting, infectious, or an aphrodisiac, and many things in between, so don't forget to laugh and smile at one another always.

Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the difference between yourself and your spouse. Don't expect he or she agrees with you on everything. Reach mutual agreement or plan, and then be committed to it. And if you say you're going to meet your partner for lunch at noon, be on time, or call if you're going to be late.  Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your partner, as well as creating a sense of trust safety and healthy relationships.

 Always learn to admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your partner to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your partner to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your partner to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your partner to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your spouse


 Always pend some quality time together- No matter how busy you two are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, and watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of love and connection that you have with each other

Always Remember You Are Intimate-Sex is one important part of healthy relationships, but it’s only one part, and it’s quite different from intimacy, which is less about physical satisfaction than about bonding, friendship, and familiarity. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you’ll feel connected—in and out of bed.

Conclusively, you got to know that your relationship should be a safety net—a stable place to come home to at the end of every day business. That doesn’t mean you don’t fight—it just means that when things are hard, you’d rather see your partner than commiserate with the so called coworkers at Happy and joyful Hour.

Friday 9 June 2017

The Dangers of Adultery



The Dangers of Adultery -

1 Corinthians 6:15-18


Sexual play (Intercourse, oral, etc.) is supposed to be for marriage. Whether or not you are Christian, it’s wise to keep this rule. Let us begin this section with a question. The aim is to help us believe we all understand what we are discussing. What is adultery?
                    There are more than biblical reason to not have sex outside of marriage but the number one reason is that God commends us to stay faithful to our mate or to abstain from having sex outside marriage. These are not really “Don’t do this” but “Do this and get hurt.” They are meant for our own good  and that is my hope in writing this, that if I can prevent even one person from committing adultery, then it have been worth writing this in ten thousand words. What are biblical consequences of having sex outside of marriage?
                
The Danger of soul Ties – 1 Corinthians 6:15-18
Whether someone likes it or not, when someone has sexual relationship outsides of marriage, they are not only sinning against their spouse, but actually sinning against their own body. When a person has sex outside of marriage, whoever they have sex with, they are join together with that person and the two become one. That the two become one in marriage is what God intended but the venture outside of their marital home relationship, for example a man has sex outside of marriage; he can become one with prostitute.


One of the main reasons that we are not to have sex outside of marriage is because that person  becomes joined to…becomes one with …the person that they are having sex. So if they have sex with someone who is committing adultery, they are joining together with the adulterer and God will not fail to judge those two who do such a thing. I knew a man who once had affair with a woman who has also married and so those two became one; one in adultery and they literary “joined” with each other in sin. That joining together, in this case for the worse, is something that will carry severe consequences. It could result in a sexual transmitted disease, AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, and also result in divorce and the breakup of a family and home and children in n that marriage will forever be changed. If we choose to suffer the consequence.
·      What is soul tie and how does it work with adultery?
·      Why is it very difficult to break off from an adulterous relationship?


Exclusion from the Kingdom of Heaven -1 Corinthians 6:9-10

God cannot be mocked for whatever a person sows they are sure to reap and what greater consequence than to be cast out of the Kingdom of Heaven when Christ returns. No believer in Christ lives in sexual immorality for they are deceived if they do such a thing and still believe that they are headed to heaven.  We are lying to ourselves and greatly deceived to believe that we can do such a thing and still live not pay a penalty and what greater penalty than to lose your own soul for eternity?
          The word of 1 john 5:18 is clear that everyone who is born again does not on sinning. They might stumble and fall but if they “keep on sinning” john says that they are not truly born again and someone who is committing ongoing, unrepentant sexual immortality like adultery most assuredly does not have any assurance of their gong to heaven but instead may be headed to the lake of fire
·         Read revelation 20:11-15. What is the reward for adultery?

Financial Ruin – Proverbs 6:26-27
A person that is committing adultery is playing with fire and it can bring destruction to their home but not only that, it can bring financial ruin because families that go through divorce have a greater risk of living in poverty. Remember too that “he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will goes unpunished” (Prov 6:29). Cause and effect are in mind here because God says that whoever commits adultery will not go unpunished. Even if a person repents from this and it is only a one time affairs, the penalty will not go away. Is it worth going into poverty over or is it worth destroying a marriage for a one night fling? Of course not!
·         How does adultery bring financial ruin?
·         Give examples of people you know or have heard about?

Making Enemies- Proverb 6:32-35
There are fewer things worse than the jealous rage of betrayed spouse. The person who has cheated may have this in the back of his minds; what if someone finds out, what would the other spouse do if they knew, what Is the risk of my life over this? There are crimes of passion that have happened when a jealous and betrayed husband or wife discovered that their spouse has cheated on them and their angry retribution is taken out on the adulterous spouse or the one who committed adultery with their spouse. People have died in the passion on such affairs. What a risk there is to make enemies that will never, ever forget what the adulterer has done. They might be looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives or they might be seeing people whispering over this and the associated scandal that brings. 
·         How does adultery create enemies?
·          Is it worth the effort?

Destroyed Reputation-Proverbs 6:32-35

I already touched on the thought that a person’s reputation can be ruined by even one affair. Even if it happens once, people have long memories and tend not to forget. You lose the trust of those around you. You lose their respects which affect all of the other relationship you have and those who know you will never see as quite the same again. They may forever be suspicious of you and your motive will always be in question. There is nothing that can restore a good name because “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold”.
·         Why does adultery destroy or tarnish a man’s reputation? 
Conclusion
The sanctity of marriage is at stake if you commit adultery. Even flirting at the office or at work is playing with fire. You put yourself at great risk when you play the charmer or flatter someone of the opposite sex. It is simply not worth the risk. Ask yourself these questions: Do you want to become one in the same with a prostitute or adulterer? Do you want to risk financial ruined? Do you want to play with fire and get burned with disease or unwanted pregnancy? Do you want to make an enemy for life? Is it worth a lifelong ruined reputation? And is it worth losing your soul over? Of course it isn’t.

 


You Can Read This

Premarital Counseling – The Benefits of Pre Marriage Counseling You Are Not Aware!

Pre marriage counseling is also called premarital counseling; it is a type of couple’s therapy that helps couples prepared for marriage...